Monthly Archives: November 2013

Breathless

What delicious torment
to hear your voice from
a million miles away.
Wanting to be there,
wishing you were here
to hold your sweet body
next to mine;
knowing that soon
it will be so.
I wait in exquisite anticipation,
breathless.

© 1996 Stephen Boothe

An older piece written for someone I loved dearly. This one was published in print some years later.

Advertisements

On Raising Children and The Future of the World

Our job as parents is not to give our children a perfect world by shielding them from what is, but is to allow them the freedom to find their true identity thus discovering what may be and to teach them to manage in an imperfect world.


Thanks and All That Comes With Life

On this eve of Thanksgiving, I am reflecting on where I’m at in my life, not so much physically although that does figure into it, but more emotionally and spiritually.

I feel fairly secure in my being at this stage of my life although I sense there is something more, something just ahead. Is that a longing for the next stage in my evolution? Or more a disatisfaction with where I currently reside metaphysically?

I think I’ll let that one go for another day.

I haven’t written anything lately, or more properly, I haven’t finished anything recently. I started a few pieces but have been unable to complete them. Or at least they somehow feel incomplete. And that’s what really matters anyway.

I also realized that I haven’t played any of my guitars in at least a month or so; a rare occurence for me. Could this be related? Hmm..

I do have an event coming up soon that I am very excited about. Our city is holding a downtown Art Walk where various artists are able to exhibit their works. Along with what will undoubtably be a visual feast will be music and a poetry slam. Of which I am planning to participate. I think I’ve settled on which pieces I will read but I tend to go with feel often and my choices could change. I am also signed up to volunteer to help in assisting and setup for the event, along with my oldest daughter and my son, which is very exciting in itself. Updates after the event.

Until then…


Resolution Blues

If I could reach up and
keep the world held still,
I’d go back three days
with a two dollar bill.
Then I’d buy me some time
to take a little rest
from all of this coincidence
and Mr. Barlow’s test.

If you could only look inside
your organ grinder self,
you’d put that monkey down
and set him on a shelf.
Happiness is what you find
when you don’t have the time
for arguments or petty thieves
who’ve taken your last dime.

Don’t just walk on past me now
in your twenty dollar shoes;
take a chance, break the bank,
there’s nothing left to lose.
You can see what’s left to find
inside your heart of stone
or cough it up and spit it out;
cause you don’t need that bone

stuck right down inside your throat
for all the world to see.
You think it ain’t showing
but that don’t worry me.
Lay it down beside me now
and you will truly find
that thorn that’s been pricking you;
that hook inside your mind.

Mr. Barlow has left us now
never to return.
Although you may not see the sky
I doubt that you will burn.
The paperboy has made his round,
now you can read the news.
Drop that stone and take a drink
of Resolution Blues.

© 2013 Stephen Boothe

I still write the occasional song and this one popped into my head after listening to Dylan’s Highway 61 Revisited the other night. Now to find one of my musician friends to add the musical accompaniment.


Art and The Future Looks Bright

Tonight was a special event for me. I attended a local Art gallery for an opening of a new exhibit called ‘Flight’. It was special to me for several reasons.

The number one reason this evening was special for me was that I had asked my fourteen year old son if he would like to go with me. He said yes, although I could tell it was with a bit of trepidation. However after the event, when I asked him his opinion, I could tell he really enjoyed the opening. I knew he felt a little out of place as most of the crowd was in their 30s and older, but he truly was interested in the art. This is big for me since there have been limited opportunities in the past, in our town, for exposure to what I consider ‘culture’ to both young and old alike and it is important to me to expose my son to, what were at one time considered, the Liberal Arts. Thankfully that is starting to change.

And that is the second reason tonight was so special. I am beginning to see a sea change in our town. I was talking to a friend the other day and he, and some people he is associated with, are sensing a ‘critical mass’ in regards to Art, Music, and Culture in our town. I have discovered that there are many people working toward promoting a thriving Artist community in our town and I believe the time is right. We are going to make this happen.

The future is bright and it couldn’t have come at a better time.


Erosion

Memories melt
and trickle like rain
down the side of mountains
erected in my past.

Monuments of glory
meant to always stand
against winds of change
and tears of sorrow.

To live a life
of unfilled desire
is like black night
with no redemption

by cleansing sunrise
to wash away death.
I lift my pen and
let the words flow

from the deep
recesses of my soul.
Pouring out on paper
giving thought a life.

Such is the spur
that goads my side
lifting me out
into the light.

Much older now
and wiser still,
I eagerly grasp
the brand new day.

A harsh resolve
with stronger will,
now able to shun
the shallow way.

This then is peace
as it comes
hiding behind a mask
of terror and lies

won by clawing
at blackened soul
and festering past
of one’s own self.

A shadow of faith
has come over me
to beg at vision
like motes in light.

It speaks such promise
as never heard.
Torn and bloodied
now I rest.

© 2000-2013 Stephen Boothe

This is another poem that I recently reworked. I felt I had more to say about the stripping away of self to find one’s own inner being.


Sunday

If she came
to grace Sunday morn,
as the Sun lay bright gold kisses
on the gums across the way,

in pools of shadow
would my quiet thoughts lie in wait
for quick Summer storms
and dripping rain.

Solitude, I seek
when white hot rage
comes bathed in honey
and serpentine wine.

Shall I bear
this pleasured pain?
Shall I give all of me
to such craving need?

Or shall I wait
for that which comes
from measured pace
and steady mind.

My answer lies
in all I see within.
Everything I am, will be,
or have ever been.

© 2013 Stephen Boothe


Love, Fear, and Insecurity

Recently, I had dinner with several friends at a local restaurant. We meet on occasion either by design or happenstance. I enjoy their company and feel relaxed when I am with them.

On this particular occasion, the conversation drifted toward a friend of theirs with whom I am not acquainted and they began to savage and belittle this apparent friend of theirs over some action he had taken. The details aren’t as important as how their actions struck me.

Later that evening, I thought about how often I’ve seen people I know belittle others. I have done it myself in the past and wonder about my motives. Is it concern over what I perceive to be incorrect behavior on someone else’s part? Or does it go beyond that.

Could the reason be insecurity? Is the desire to make someone else seem less than a way to boost one’s own sense of self worth or esteem? I suspect that is a large part of it.

That also made me realize that where I am today is a long way from where I was in the past. I know what it is like to look outside oneself for happiness, self-esteem, and a sense of worth. I believe many people are in that same place and wonder about a society that may foster that insecurity in its people.

At a certain point in my life, I knew I had to change since what I was doing wasn’t working for me. I resolved to look inward for my happiness and then came to a new realization. I did not know what made me happy or what it was that I really wanted. I had been so disconnected from my own wants and desires for so long by looking outside myself for that thing that would make me whole, that I had lost sight of who I really was.

Slowly, the person I am began to be revealed. It is hard to know if who I have found is the real me or if I have been essentially remaking myself.

Either way, I have come to know myself, perhaps only partially at this point but more importantly I learn more and more every day.

And I have come to love myself.

When love replaces fear, there is no room for insecurity.

Namaste


Chaos

Chaos, bound by harsh refrain
of sorrow’s bitter voice,
lives within and does contain
a possibility.

A million worlds, a million sighs,
a million days … fill me
with the taste of sweetest wine
and pain of broken life.

Sitting in my sea of thought
and watching life go by
I wished for that which spoke to me
of all that I desired.

Do not seek, Sisyphus said.
Do not tread those paths
that sing of promise and unborn dreams.
Stay and sing with me.

Should I leave this sheltered place
and dare to venture forth
into unknown realms of thought
and unseen prophecy?

Or should I turn to that within
which brought me to this world
and shun all gods old and new
for the spark that lives inside.

Would that I had seen that light
on bright and sunny day.
That brilliant gem of dusky hue
hidden deep inside.

For all things found and those unmet
in Winter’s darkest time
give Summer rain, lest I forget,
to cleanse my churning mind.

© 2001-2013 Stephen Boothe

This is another older piece that I recently reworked. I was happy to have found the original thoughts that led me to this.


Sorrow

Now in May
the eve of one long year
of barren triumph
and slowly drying stain,
a sorrow cries inside
and the tears of it are wet.

© 1999 Stephen Boothe

 

This is an older piece I wrote during a difficult time which I had intended to expand into a longer work but never got back to it. I have decided I like it as is.


%d bloggers like this: