Tag Archives: Dreams

Dreams, Dragons, and the Love That Binds

Dreams, Dragons, and
the love that binds;
this is what I seek
and sometimes find
when I catch a glimpse
of the one I left behind
in that world so long ago
before I learned how to truly live.

I touch those memories
carefully kept in folded hands
so that they may last
through the pain
and days so dark
that I can’t feel my own heart
or even know my own name
I have so much to give

I met a man
in a dream one day.
He said
come with me and stay;
I will show you how
to live here forever.
This is where
the love is.

Freedom takes
away the pain
and wonder takes
away the chain
of self-imposed
that never ending
self fulfilling prophecy.

I feel I’m too strong
and sometimes
I feel I can’t keep on
living the way I’ve known
for all this time
and all these ways;
this is not my life.

Now I have been moved
and I have found magic.
Dreams, Dragons, and Love
are all that I can imagine.
Now we will dance
and we will sing
and the world will know
that we are one.

© 2014 Stephen Boothe


On Raising Children and The Future of the World

Our job as parents is not to give our children a perfect world by shielding them from what is, but is to allow them the freedom to find their true identity thus discovering what may be and to teach them to manage in an imperfect world.

Vertigo – Finding Balance in my Life

If you’ve read my post, On The Mat, you know I suffer from extended, sometimes extreme bouts of vertigo. In the past couple of months or so these episodes have increased in frequency much to my dismay. What once occurred, on average, 6-8 months apart has now increased to every week or so and even a couple of times a week on occasion.

Since I was diagnosed with Meniere’s Disease or Meniere’s Syndrome as they’re now calling it, I’ve been on a strict diet and medication which has helped for the most part. I’m still on my regimen but, regardless, the attacks are on the increase. I can somewhat dampen the effects by using Meclazine, which I detest, but the episodes all but disable me.

I have determined that Meclazine is not the answer for me. It makes me drowsy and foggy brained and, although a constant relatively high dose of the drug helps to prevent the attacks, that is not an ideal way of life for me. Therefore I’ve begun investigating alternate treatments.

There is a procedure that can be done in which a drug called Gentamicin is injected into the inner ear effectively destroying the balance detecting abilities of that ear. This prevents the vertigo from occurring since it is the malfunctioning inner ear that causes the trouble to begin with. The downside is that it also eliminates the hearing in that ear.

This is not a huge downside for me as I’ve lost about 80% of the hearing in that ear already and what little I do hear sounds very distorted and almost unrecognizable as speech.

I think I’m ready for this step.

I have gotten to a point to where I really enjoy life and all it has to offer. I want to live, I want to dream, I want to love. Which is not to say those things aren’t possible in my current condition; I love my life.

I just want to enjoy it more.

Is that so wrong?



Would that I had seen this fate
at four and twenty two.

Would I still have breathed the fire
that set my life in stone?

A pearl that made from grains of sand,
dark and tightly spun;

A spiral twist of tears and man,
forever all alone.

A damn poor gem if truth be told
and why would I not say

those things that came so hard to me;
high cost for empty soul.

Thirteen days and thirteen lies
had found me at my end.

I had sought to keep inside
a power I could not hold.

Tell me now o’ lonely one,
hold me to my truth.

Is this thing that you now see,
is this the dream you chose

when you had wished and you prayed
to all the gods above

for better things and sweet life;
a fairy tale of old?

I know not now who I was
or who I could have been.

Now I just walk upon this road
of dust and buried bones.

© 2013 Stephen Boothe

Vivid Dreams and The Other Life I Live

I have vivid dreams.

I’m not certain as to when these started, only that it was sometime in my early childhood. Several of these dreams are not only vivid but also recurring.

One of the earliest dreams I can remember, and this goes back to when I was less than ten, seems rather innocuous on the face of it but it terrified me as a child. It was very simple. In my dream was a huge rubber band and something was stretching it tighter and tighter and thinner and thinner. I could feel it about to break and the anticipation was horrifying. I don’t know that I ever knew what the consequences would be should it finally break, only that those consequences would be extremely dire to me.

After several years that dream occurred less and less frequently and eventually faded away to never return. It is one of the most vivid dreams I recall ever having.

Another dream which also reoccurred for many years found me in a huge house of many rooms. There were many hallways and stairs along with hidden passageways. In this dream I was searching for some hidden secret which I don’t recall ever finding. I still don’t know the nature of the secret but I knew it was very important and would tell me many things that I should know. One odd facet of this dream was that, every time I had this dream, the house was always the same and I seemed to get closer and closer to the room with the hidden secret.

This dream also faded after a while but did come back many years later after I was an adult. The series that occurred when I was an adult had me living in the house for a while, still trying to find its secret. At some point in my adult dreams, I had moved out of the house and it was eventually demolished. I’ve never had the dream since.

In my late twenties and early thirties, I began having dreams in which I would see myself; not as in looking in a mirror but as a separate person. The even stranger part of the dream was that the other me was older, maybe late forties or early fifties. I would always find my other self living in an upstairs apartment over a garage that had no vehicles parked inside. My other self had a slender youngish woman living with him who I would talk with at times. I never talked to my other self or confronted him face to face as he would either be sleeping when I arrived or, on a couple of occasions, would be just leaving as I walked in the front. All I ever had gotten was fleeting glances of my other self yet somehow I knew it was me.

At some point in the last ten or fifteen years, all my vivid dreams had stopped. It’s hard to pin down exactly when. One day I realized they just seemed to be gone and had been gone for some time. In fact, I realized that I had trouble recalling any dreams whatsoever.  It was odd because, although the vivid dreams were often disquieting, I missed them in a way.

But then I woke about a week ago and still had a fleeting memory of a very vivid series of dreams that previous night. I couldn’t recall the details but I knew it was a vivid dream. I felt and hoped they were back.

I know it sounds odd to say I hoped they were back but I also know they were a part of my life that somehow felt important. It is almost as if there is another me that had gone missing and had finally turned up after a long absence. They feel good. I seem to have slept better when I’ve had a lucid dream. I feel more balanced and I feel more whole in my waking life when the other me is around.

Yes, life is strange but then that is where the beauty lies.

A Little Housekeeping

I’ve changed things around a bit; I warned you that this site would evolve over time.

Nothing major, I just changed the front page and did away with Look At This. I haven’t been updating the latter and it seemed a bit stale to have the static Who Am I for the main page. So we’ll go with this for a while and see how it fits.

I’m working on an upcoming post concerning my childhood, dreams, and alternate lives. Whether it will be good reading I don’t know, but it is good for me to write it.


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